Friday, July 10, 2009

Fairy Tales

Niva could see fairies. She saw them at night. And at day too, but their hazy, gray forms were less visible in all the light. They weren't anything like the fairies she had read about - no frilly skirts, no magic wands, no dance, music or glitter, no toadstool parties, no minusculity.

If she hadn't known them better, she might have thought they were ghosts.
But no, they were fairies alright.
Because fairies have an aim, a Purpose. Ghosts are just impressions of people left on earth. They don't have a Purpose. They are usually friendly, but sometimes, they have been known to turn quite nasty. In any case, one must not provoke them.
Ghosts can reappear at will. They can come if Called. But fairies? They don't come. They stay. When their Purpose is fulfilled, they go away and no amount of Calling ever does any good.

What Niva saw were definitely fairies.

The first one she had noticed had been a little girl. Niva had caught her petting a stray cat on the road. She was just a haze, like a localized fog, but with a definite shape. Little Girl was years ago. One day, the cat had disappeared and Niva never saw her again. Sometimes she wondered if Little Girl and her cat were in heaven.

Her next fairy sighting was an old man. He had turned up in Niva's own house and she had seen him sitting on the sofa, looking at her father. Perhaps he was the Great-Uncle about whose demise they had learnt through that late night STD call. The one her father had dearly loved. He had even flown over to attend his funeral the very next day. 
She could have sworn it was Great Uncle wh had cured her father's cancer. He was never in pain when he was near him.

But the day the doctors had said her father was completely cured, Great-Uncle had gone away.

The more fairies Niva saw, the more she began to notice them. They were all around her, quitely working through their Purpose. When their work was done, they went away. They didn't talk to her, but some of them noticed her. A wave here, a look in her direction there.
Their People could feel their presence most of the time. How it was expressed in each was different. You could feel calm in their presence, seem more focused or feel your anger dissipate at their touch.

Over the years, Niva saw a whole lot of them. Once in a while, she would help their People through actions like picking up her neighbour's post, helping the old man next door cross the street, buying her maid's daughter storybooks, befriending the lonely boy a floor above her, feeding the mongrel warm milk in the winters,  even teaching her maid to read. The fairies liked her for it and once in a while, did something for her too. The fairytales talk of fairies granting us wishes - actually what happens is that we just earn ourselves a favour from them. Everytime you help a fairy in his or her Purpose, you get "a wish granted". Even those who cannot see fairies. It is simple - You must do something in order to get something.

One night, Niva saw a fairy woman in her room. That was the first time one had been inside her room. She was semi-there. Half fairy, half nothing. Perhaps it was a fairy that had come to say goodbye before going and had started her journey already? Niva smiled at her and brought out her books. She still had three hours of solid studying to do. Tests were coming and she hoped to do well.

The fairy was still there when she finally went to sleep.

Next morning, her father woke her up at 5 o'clock. His eyes were bloodshot and he looked distraught. 
"Your mother," he said. "She died in her sleep."
Niva looked around. The dairy was still there, stronger than before.
"Baba, you know, she is going to be there with us through everything we do. We just need to look out for her."

Niva could have sworn the fairy smiled at her.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Off FB!

I'm outta FB.

That's the second cutting-off-from-world action in a month after losing my phone and not bothering to get a new one. Withdrawal symptoms of technology overuse? Who knows. What I do know is that instead of making me feel more "connected" (talking of which, having you seen the show on MTV by the same name? India's first "twin game show". Snort. Reality check Producers, nobody's interested. Except perhaps the immediate family of the participants.), I'd feel even more insecure and lonely. I got the UnSMSed Syndrome if someone wasn't perpetually messaging me. Plus the phone earphones were making me deaf. The minimum volume was a tad too high.

Facebook on the other hand, well, any fewer than 10 Notifications everytime I log on would give me the UnNotified Syndrome. Plus when you run out of things to do, you start playing inane Flash games that are super-addictive. 

So now I can blog more frequently. And shall. More time to read the newspapers too.

And listen to old songs. There's a familiarity with old things that make you feel safe when sudden changes become upsetting. I don't mean 3-decades-back old though, just songs-I've-grown-up-listening-to old. So there's Sum 41, Avril Lavigne, Hoobastank, Creed and some A. R. Rahman songs back on my playlist. Khoon Chala from RDB is especially nice when heard over and over again on an infinite loop.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

An Ode To A Best Friend

My Bestest Best Friend wrote me a poem cuz I wrote her one. Now, mine is a wee bit sucky. So you just have to make do with hers. Which is awesome. Here:

Re: An Ode To A Best Friend

I'm not sure when it started,
but i hope it never ends.
It must have been auspicious,
the day we became friends.

I wouldn't care to remember it anyway,
i'd rather remember your smile,
the gleeful way in which you attacked Adi
with the broken tile.*

How, together, for the world,
we made up our own new names
how for the carnival, together,
we invented all sorts of freaky games.

The millions of senseless plans and things
that we thankfully didn't do,
(like putting the hairy man in the bin¤
and locking jangu in the loo.)

The endless amount of parental money
that was spent just on phone calls;
talking about useless shite to deep things 
to how i wish our bf had balls.

How we'd so easily pour our heart out,
without hesitation, with complete trust...
About our littlest hopes and deepest fears and how with them,
we will too one day turn to dust.

About the stupidest morons and the cutest guys 
from the smallest pains to the longest tear
¤¤
my tales of ripped hearts and shattered dreams
thus always found an attentive ear.

With little soft words and gentle warm hugs,
long, doting letters and a loving touch,
you were there to heal my wounds,
thus i always had an arm to clutch.

My moments of complete madness
thus always found someone to play along,
my absolutely ridiculous lies
thus were never proved wrong.

You were always there by my side,
ready to support and understand,
not a preacher or a time-pass pal
more like a bear of a first class brand.**

We love each other for each other
and not for what we could be;
for every ounce of madness, boldness,
openness, niceness, bluntness and imbecility.

The more time we spent together,
the more Real*** we became;
We changed together in a million ways
and yet we remained the same.

I better stop writing, as for you,
i can write till i am dead;
and yet have a lot
that i haven't as yet said.

Like thanks for the cookies you baked
(before i left for france)
for the earrings and candles and weird craft stuff
and for the poems and the waltz-like dance.****

So thank thou for all those things
that i've previously left unsaid,
thank you for being there for me
in the little life that i've led.

Saying 'thanks' is pretty moronic
and i think you know that too
so just remember that if you need something
i'll always be there for you. :)

(P.S. Don't tell RA about our little affair
or i'm afraid he'll have a fit,
meet you tomorrow at the regular place... :)
Oh, wait, he'll read this. Shit.)

¤ LPHAC :)
¤¤ the tear here doesn't mean 'aasu'. it is in reference to 'torn hearts' etc.
* 10th, remember?
** monty-chan!!!
*** Yes, the repeatedly mentioned passage is mentioned yet again. Haw.
**** 8th. You might have forgotten.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

My grandmother was telling us some stories about her life. War-time tales, pre-Independence stories, even one about the Partition riots. And then she came to another one:

"... and that boy, he didn't eat or go to school for 2 whole days. Eventually, his father noticed and asked his mother. The boy says he won't eat or go to school if he's not married to the new sub-judge's daughter. He tried to make him see sense. 'What if I did go and he throws me out of his house? Thought about that? How shameful it will be?' But the boy said he didn't care and the father had to go to talk to the sub-judge. It turned out that the boy had seen his daughter play, all of 10 years old, in his garden while going to school. The sub-judge did marry them off though. And that boy grew up to become a judge in the Allahabad High Court."
"What? Wait, she married at TEN?"
"So? In those days, and this is 7 generations before you, little girls of 6-7 years were married off. There have been so many cases where an old man of 70, a dying old man, got married to a girl of just 8."
"What? WHY?"
"Why, you ask? Well, if that's the case, why did they burn living girls to death? Heard about that?"
"Yeah. But ... can't they marry them to someone else? The parents ..."
"The parents were the ones marrying them off. What could they do? If you had unmarried girls of 16 at home - you know dhobis? They'd refuse to wash your clothes, servants would refuse to work- "
"No, why didn't the parents refuse?"
"Because that's why. If they found no one else, they'd settle for old men."
"But they - you said they were dying."
"Yes. And after that, the little girls would just become widows without nothing but this one white sari to wear- "
"Yes, I know, I know. But the parents are practically pushing their daughters there."
"In those days, the girls didn't matter. No one cared about their education. The good stuff at home, it would be given to the boys. And this is nothing, the demand for brahmins was so high, some of them had a few hundred wives and lived ONLY off what they got in dowry. The wives all stayed in their fathers' houses and the son-in-law would visit sometimes."
"o.O"
"And in dire circumstances, if there was nothing else, girls would be married to TREES. A necklace around the trunk and there you go. 'Atleast the girl has married', they'd say. In our days, it wasn't so bad. Yes, the girls dropped out of school after class 6 but ..."

o.O
Hands up everyone who thinks marrying a dying man, old enough to be your grandfather, is the height of cool. Oh and so is being burnt to death soon after their demise...

Sciency Pick-Up Line of The Day

"Are you an aromatic compound? Cuz you smell rrreal good!"

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Espèra's Guide To Getting Rid of Fraandship Makers

Divakar: Well Espèra .......I am looking forward for friendship with u where there is trust, honesty, kindness, loyalty, support, understanding, empathy, comfort, affection, warmth, intimacy etc.  
Can I have the pleasure of being ur good friend in the real sense???
me: no
Divakar: Is there anything wrong with me? 
me: I don't know you  
Divakar: Thats y i am asking ur number so that we can know one another in a better way 
me: not possible 
Divakar: Unless u talk to someone u cant draw a picture of that person
Cant u add one more to ur list of friends 
me: I can add one more to that list  
but I doubt it's going to be you. You see... I haven't told you all about myself ...
I have AIDS
Divakar: R u kidding?
u r really very funny 
me: I am not kidding  
I am serious  
it is a serious disease  
why would I kid? 
Divakar: I know  
but how come u got Aids? 
me: why not?  
no one is protected from it 
Divakar: ya u r right  
But how come u got aids?
me: Well I got it cuz I take drugs  
or maybe it was the tattoo  
I am not sure now, you see?
Divakar:  By the way Sam….what drugs u take
me: I take cocaine  
and .. charas  
what do you take?
Divakar: I dont take any
me: no?  
I can take you to try some!   
Divakar: what do u think i shud try one
me: if you think you can live with AIDS, you may take the risk*
Divakar: No no......i cant take the risk for aids
Divakar: By the way  how long r u going to live?


*I doubt he got my pun. "Live with AIDS". *guffaws*

And yes, I haven't technically gotten rid of him. But I doubt he's going to want "intimacy" after this. Snigger. And I haven't heard from him since then either. Smirk.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Espèra's Ultimate Guide To Not Getting Raped.

Part I: Understanding the Problem

In the words of our fine friend DK,

Don’t think I am preparing to quarrel with you. I just want to reply for your mail. About rape and other crimes. I am just asking one thing, can’t women control themselves? In my view these things happen
because of women. I told you about dressing… why these people wearing this kind of dress. Some time I think it is better to walk without clothes, that’s better than some piece of clothes. Don’t blame us (I mean boys) we all are human beings.

To further sum up the situation, DK has some more words of wisdom, 
But I am so sad because now all students ... imitate western culture ... all were good in the time of study and even also for dressing ... but now this time they can’t live without boyfriends or boys can’t live without girlfriends. Now we can’t trust anyone. And all are wearing imported dresses and we are forgot our past our masterpiece dress “Saree or Churidar” i am not saying all are bad, but I am sure now these days 90% are bad…  I saw one TV add about one dancing club. Now these things are doing more openly. In Bangalore you can see lots of clubs. And you can see girls are drinking and smoking.

Sigh. If only all those girls who got raped knew this! Now I can totally appreciate Kanpur's colleges' utterly wise decision to ban women wearing jeans. Why don't we legalize female infanticide, while we're at it? No girls, no rapes, no blackmarks on Family Honour. Oh heck, let's go the extra mile and invite the Taliban to come to India. We need such reforms, man (pun intended)!

Part II: Avoiding the Problem

I mentioned a few radical reforms up there. Of course, until the Indian government can either invite the Taliban or legalize female infanticide, there's always something we can do at a personal level. Let's investigate: 

1. Do not step out of the house. Do not talk to men. Do not look at men. 

2. Do not wear "western" clothes. For added safety, wear the navel-baring sari. For extra added safety, wear a curtain on your head and call it, er, a purdah.

3. Do not be out at night. "Good girls" from "good houses" don't do that.

4. Do not smoke, drink or go to pubs. Do not party. Do not laugh loudly. Do not have fun.

5. It is inconsequential if you're a serial murderer; as long as you're covered and timid and docile and look down and behave and know how to cook and are willing to pop out a son or two, you should get along finely because you are after all an Indian woman.

6. It is entirely inconsequential again, if you just slayed your own daughter because your own son had raped her, because you were only worried about the Family Honour, like all good Indian women.

7. In the extreme case that you've been raped despite all these precautions, please do Indiankind a favour and kill yourself because you deserve it and you were just asking for it to happen.

You'll hopefully get along finely if you follow all these precautions. Feel free to leave thanks and replies to DK's email. They will be duly forwarded.

Monday, June 08, 2009

Blahaha.

More rants.

I ought to be studying. Instead, I sit online, or mope around, earphones firmly stuck in my ears, or daydream. Or spend too much time on the phone. And glug down litres of somewhat cold water.

The bottle in front of me has a label that reads: "Over the last two years, we have reduced our water consumption by recycling efficiently." It's giving me fairly odd ideas surrounding the words 'urea' and 'wastes'.

And while we're ranting, heard Eminem's 'We Made You (Rockstar)' from Relapse, his new album? I like it, but then, I like most of Eminem's stuff, no matter how emo some of it is.

Now to end, here's a Sacman joke. It took me 5 minuts and 3 rounds of explanations by 2 different people before I understood it:

What's the height of cruelty?

First you kill Thakur's wife, then you chop off his arms.